Family and The Oppression of Women

Traditional ideology equates women with the roles of wife and mother within the family. The role of wife was portrayed as desirable, necessary, and as a rite of passage for women. It was seen as achieving true womanhood, and assuring women of security and respectability -- it seems that these views are still present in a few countries. Women were considered primitive, irrational, with smaller brains, thus less intelligent--as per Charles Darwin's writings. Femininity was defined as compliance, subordination, and "oriented to accomodating the interest and desires of men" (Connel, Gender and Power, p.183). There is a definite gender hierarchy found in traditional marriages--it has created women's isolation, and continued needed support of men.

"Married women are neither expected to give nor rewarded for giving full commitment to professional life". (Patricia Bourne & Norma Wikler, Fox) "Choices women make for further training and specialization are shaped and circumscribed by features of a discriminatory environment. Through subtle/non-actionable methods such as jokes demeaning to women, insults, and communications (verbal and nonverbal) indicating disrespect and disinterest, and excluding women from conversations". (Patricia Bourne & Norma Wikler, Fox)

Hegemonic masculinity and its acceptance by society may continue to be fueled by women. "Women will choose to go where they feel comfortable, welcomed and competent. These comfort zones will be chosen to reduce the stress accompanying the violation of deeply held norms of women's roles and place." (Patricia Bourne & Norma Wikler, Fox) Thus hegemony is a large measure of consent, by men (since they benefit by women's subordination), by women (since they remain in their comfort zones), and by society. We must remember that "hegemonic masculinity and patriarchal violence is close" [it] "is embedded in religious doctrine and practice, mass media content, wage structures, the design of housing, welfare/taxation policies..." (Connel R.W., Gender and Power, p.184)

British common law once allowed a man to “chastise” his wife with “any reasonable instrument.” (DV History, http://www.emedicinehealth.com/articles/11425-1.asp)

"A sisterhood among women came partially from a critique of relationships with men. They came to see intimacy with men constructed through relations of domination". (Acker et al. 1979) Women have realized that their low self worth is related to their disadvantaged position within their marriage and society, which is male defined, and related to men's needs.

Women support each other throughout their lives, and rely on each other through transitions. Feminists believe that women do not need to be dependent on men for intimacy and attachment. Since the beginning of time, women faired well between themselves for this kind of support. In fact, in a relationship where the man wants to control his woman, what better way than cutting off her life support--her friends. Thereby creating the isolation necessary for dependency, attachment and control of his 'wife'.

Men have dominated, by organizing and financing, societies acceptance of women's subordination to men's benefit. Women are realizing that their oppression is due to societies structure, and that in forming political bonds as a group, changes have been possible. There has been a new movement towards commmunalism--developing out of the women's movement philosophy--where women are "socializing productive relationships in the living place". This is seen as one of the alternatives to the nuclear family; and this arrangement is one of the places where single parents would especially fit in well. "Breaking down alienating forms of social relationships can be seen to be a first step in the process of transforming society." (Rochelle Paul Wortis, Fox, p.265)

Individuals can develop skills and knowledge to find loving, caring, and supportive relationships.

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